You Wrote About What?!

For some reason, some people deem breastfeeding inappropriate to talk about an even more inappropriate to breast feed your child in public.

I'm not sure why.
In my opinion, it is the one of the most beautiful and natural things a woman's body is capable of (right after giving birth to a human being).

When Tyler and I would talk about having children, there was always discussion about how we would dress them, the toys they would have, how we would discipline them.
There was never question about what formula we would use because I knew I always wanted to breastfeed our children.

So when we were in the labor and delivery room, the nurse was asking me all kinds of questions that I had no answers to because I wasn't prepared to answer them, and then she asked me a question I knew without a doubt. 

"Will you be breastfeeding or bottle feeding?"

My answer was a quick, and confident, "Absolutely breastfeeding."

Not only is breastfeeding the cheapest way, but it is no doubt the healthiest thing you can offer your baby. I knew even if the baby didn't latch properly, or if it didn't work out for whatever reason, I would use a pump so the baby could still receive the benefits of breast milk.

I feel lucky that Landon did so well with it. He latched right away and everything went smoothy.

That doesn't mean there wasn't a few times in the beginning that I felt like giving up.

It was exhausting because Tyler couldn't be much help during those night time feedings.

It was uncomfortable at first to do in public. 

And not to mention it was pretty painful in the beginning. 

But breastfeeding was one of the most important things to me and not only because it was nutritious, but because this was the first real bond Landon and I had. 

I never spoke to Landon while he was in my womb, never acknowledge his existence, and never called him by name until he was born. 

Of course, there is the natural connection you get with a baby when they are growing inside of you, even if you don't talk to them, but there wasn't that deep emotional connection until the very end (literally) of my pregnancy. 

Landon and I first connected when he latched on for the first time. 

That's when it became real to me that this tiny human was mine. It's also the first time Landon looked up at me with those big dark eyes of his. 

We had an instant connection and that's why I stuck with it.

I'm still nursing Landon in the morning and at night, and I'm not sure when we will stop. My goal was a year, and we made it! And I'm proud of that.

Although it was exhausting nursing him at night, there was something peaceful about being awake in the middle of the night with a snuggly baby who just needed his mama. 

As he nurses now, he holds my hand or touches my face, and even claps when he is done. The thought of weaning him makes me sad, but I will be forever grateful for the ability to breastfeed my precious baby.