Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Final Countdown of 2013

Here are my top ten moments of 2013!

10. Going On a Whale Watching Tour
I've always loved the ocean and the creatures that are in it. It is nice to feel tiny while in the midst of something so huge. I didn't expect to see anything when we started out. Of course, there is no guarantee you will see any whales or dolphins and there is definitely no money refund. But! We got lucky and ended up in the midst of an entire pod of dolphins.





9. Jared Becoming a Part of Our Family:
While living in California, it was hard to have a sense of family and community. We found this with Jared. He not only loves us, but he loves Landon as if he were biologically related. There were few people I was comfortable leaving Landon with while we were in California, but I was at ease when we left him with Jared. I knew Landon would be well taken care of and loved as if we were there. It just feels natural to take Jared in as another member of our family. 




8. Every Hike We Completed
When we decided to move to Toledo, we committed to go on a hike or to the beach (at least) once a week. And sometimes, we did both in one day. What a life, huh? I can't express the beauty we discovered while living on the West Coast.




7. Running The Color Run
I loved running in high school and for parts of college, but my love for it eventually faded. I don't think there was a specific reason why...I just stopped making it a priority. However, on My Bucket List I had said I wanted to run The Color Run, which is a 5k. So with a running history, I figured it wouldn't be hard and not to mention, it looked like a lot of fun. AND IT WAS! The run wasn't competitive at all. I didn't have a goal finish time, I just wanted to run and have fun with my cousin, Lexi, and that is exactly what I did.




6. Biking Along The Beach With Tyler and Landon
All my favorite things tied into one! Tyler, Landon, my bike, and the beach. It doesn't get any better than that. Experiencing the beauty of the Ocean with Tyler beside me while pulling Landon in his little bike trailer is not only one of my favorite moments of 2013, but easily one of my favorite life moments. 





5. Moving To Ohio
It's  funny though, because if you would have told us in May 2012 that we would be moving back to Ohio only after a year of living in California, we would have laughed and said, "There is no way we are moving back to Ohio." But...here we are, and this life is beautiful. Beaches, mountains, and warm weather are no comparison to living closer to family. This doesn't mean there are not days where I don't miss our life in Cali...it was so easy (and so warm), but Tyler and I are so happy and content with where we are in our lives and moving back was one of the greatest decisions we have made. 





4. Becoming Members of A Methodist Church 
Another funny thing. If someone would have told Tyler a year ago he would have been part of a United Methodist ministry team, he would have denied it all day. But, here we are. He is the pastor at a church that is located literally in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farm land. It has been nothing but a blessing to become a part of this church family. It reminds me a lot of my old church family in Blacksville, WV. The people are so gracious, kind, open minded, giving, and so sweet. They have taken us in like we have been there our whole lives. And not only do I get to spend every Sunday with a great group of people, I get to watch my husband teach. This is what he loves doing and call me biased, but he is amazing at what he does. I have learned more from him in the few years he has been preaching, than I have learned my whole life. 





3. Landon saying, "Mama" For The First Time
If you spend just a few minutes around our family, you will quickly realize that Landon is 100% a mama's boy. Not to say he doesn't love Tyler just as much as he loves me, but seriously, he wants to be around me every second of every day. And of course...I don't mind (with the exception of needing a break every now and then). His first word was, "Mama" and I'm sure people will say, "That's because its the easiest syllable for him to say." And that may be true, but he knew what the word, "Mama" meant the minute he started saying it. I could go on and on and on about how much I love Landon and the incredible bond the two of us have, but you can find that in just about every other post I have ever written. Landon is simply...incredible. 


2. Landon Turning One!
It is hard for me to believe I have a one year old. It is amazing what he has learned and the person he has developed into in just one year! I'm not one to brag, but he is darn smart! 
     He knows titles of books. For example, when he sees, Pete The Cat he says, "Pop" and when he sees, Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See? he says two words that sound like, "brown bear brown bear."
     He can do "more," "eat," and "all done" in sign language.
     He knows the meaning of the word, "hot."
     He actually listens and comprehends really well.
I could go on and on, but I'll spare you ;-)




1. Getting To Go Through Another Year With Tyler
Call it cliche, but it's the truth. This man is truly the best thing in my life. It has been a crazy year, from moving across the country, loosing our things to a moving company for two months, taking on a church, and raising a baby, but he has been the most encouraging and loving man. I can't express how thankful and blessed I am to have married him.




Thursday, December 12, 2013

Happy Birthday, Baby!

I'll never forget the hours leading up to Landon's arrival.

Once we were in the delivery room and the nurse found the baby's heart beat, I then at least knew he was alive. We didn't know what to expect once he was born...what he would look like, if he would be deformed at all, or if HE actually was a he or a she.

We had an amazing nurse. She gave us the space we needed, but was there for support. I found great comfort in her and with her in the room, I felt safe. She was so kind, understanding, non judgmental, and even brought humor into the room, which was needed. She never left us when we needed her and she answered all of our questions honestly.
She bought Landon his blue striped blanket which he never goes a night without.

I'll never forget the phone calls I made to my parents.
My mom was at a Christmas party and I knew she was. As much as I didn't want to give her the news while she was at that party, I knew I didn't have much time, so I called her.
I told her I needed to talk to her and I asked if she was sitting down. As I told her what was going on, she said to me, "Oh honey, I don't know if I should be thrilled or really scared." And I said, "Probably both." She prayed with me over the phone and she was calm...exactly what I needed her to be.

I then called my dad who was luckily at home and not at work. My blood pressure got so high from nerves that the monitor went off.
I could hear the fear in his voice. He kept saying, "Are you sure you are okay...are you sure you are okay?" I think he asked me the same question about four times...but rightfully so.

We picked out two names. One for a girl and one for a boy.
And eventually the pushing process started.

I pushed for four hours.
Finally, at 6:47pm (pacific time), a beautiful, HEALTHY, perfect, baby boy was born!
6lbs. 13oz. and 20in. long.
There were multiple doctors in the room because they were prepared for the worst, but once he was born and evaluated, they delivered the news that he was miraculously perfect. The doctor even said, "I can't find a single thing wrong with him." This is the best news a new parent can receive.

After I nursed him for the first time, they took him to the nursery for the other tests he would have received while in the womb and Tyler and I were sent to a resting room where Landon would arrive early the next morning.

I ate a grilled cheese sandwich that night while Tyler made calls to our closest friends and family. We "rested" (yeah right) and waited to be reunited with Landon.





We were sent home two days later. 







Somedays, I still can't believe he is ours. He is OUR baby! 
Somedays, I look at him and wonder to myself...where did you come from?
I am so grateful that God chose and in trusted us to be his parents. 

We may not have known he existed, but we love him like we knew he was there the whole time.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Who Cares.

I am not defined by being the woman who didn't know she was pregnant. That does not make up my identity. I understand it is a big part of of my life and probably the biggest part of my story, but it doesn't define who I am as a person.

I am a woman who knows a lot about how the human body works. I studied it in college.
I am not oblivious to what is happening to my body. I take good care of myself and I am in tune with what I need to be healthy.

I am a woman who was blessed with a body that is able to carry a child for nine months. I grew a human and then pushed it out of my body, just like every other woman who has been pregnant.

My pregnancy may have looked differently than a "normal" one, but it was still a pregnancy and I still went through it.

And no,
I didn't feel him kick. And that sucks because when I thought of what it would be like to be pregnant, I couldn't wait to know what it felt like to have a tiny baby kick from the inside.
And no,
I didn't show. And that sucks too because I had plans of how I would track how big my belly got.
And no,
We didn't move to California so we could "hide the pregnancy." Why would we want to keep the joy of expecting a baby from our families.

Over the past year, I have been the subject at dinner parties, I have been questioned, and I have been doubted.

I understand people are interested and want to know details and I love talking about Landon's story because it is beautiful, but I can tell when people are skeptical and are waiting for a flaw in the story.

In a previous post, I said, "It has been a year of overcoming guilt and "what ifs" and that statement couldn't be any more true. I struggled and still struggle.
I have never felt more terrible than I did when I found out I was pregnant and delivering the same day. All I could think of, was "How did I miss this and what have I done."
I had dreamed of what it would be like to find out I was pregnant. I thought it would be exciting and joyful and happy, but instead I was scared to death and the first thing I said to Tyler was, "Nobody is going to believe me." and he said, "Who cares."

At the time, "Who cares" wasn't enough for me, but now, it is plenty.
It's plenty because I've learned that I don't have to prove myself and I don't have to convince anyone because the only thing that matters...is Landon.

Landon was born healthy and perfect, but people don't usually ask about him. They want to know every reason why I didn't know I was pregnant.

I've come to a place where I feel more grace than guilt.
And a place where I feel more blessed than cheated out of a "normal" pregnancy.
A year ago, I couldn't have said that.

I am where I am now because I look at Landon every day and he is so smart and so adorable and so full of love and energy, I realize that because of my lifestyle and because of God, he is here and thriving.
And nothing else matters.

Monday, December 9, 2013

It's a Date!

In case you didn't know, it doesn't snow in Pasadena. In fact, it doesn't get below mid fifties. Which is great any other time, except when its Christmas time. Whether or not we admit it, everyone likes a little snow around Christmas time. It helps makes the season a little more magical. 

So while we were in California, we really missed the familiar holiday feelings of OH and PA. 

December 9th, 2012 I had a special date planned for Tyler and I. We were going to go to a nice restaurant, and then come home to our apartment which would be decorated like a winter wonderland. I even made paper snowflakes to hang around the living room. 

However, our date didn't go as planned. 

I woke up that morning and my back was hurting. My muscles would tighten up for about five seconds,  and then they would relax. About ten minutes later, it would happen again. I had no idea what was causing this to happen, but I figured it was a result of our twenty mile bike ride the day before. 

It wasn't unbearable, so I went about my day pretty normally and got ready for our date. 

But by that evening, the pain was getting worse. Tyler and I decided it would be best if we stayed home and he willingly went and got Chipotle instead which is almost just as good as a the gourmet restaurant we planned on going to. 

While Tyler was out, I transformed our apartment into this:


We ate chipotle in our "snow covered" house, played a board game, danced to some music, played COD (yes, I enjoy playing Call of Duty with my husband), and enjoyed the cool air from our back porch.

Yes, that is fake snow.


It was a perfect night, minus the back pain that seemed to be getting increasingly worse. 

December 9th will always be a memorable day for us. 
Since I wasn't able to take Tyler on our planned date, we are going today. 

Today, and every December 9th, I am going to take Tyler on the date I never got to take him on. 
Tonight we are going out to dinner and then we are going for a nice wintery walk around the Toledo Zoo.

Just the two of us. 

Sunday, December 8, 2013

The Famous Twenty Mile Bike Ride

A year ago today, Tyler and I went on a bike ride. A really, really long bike ride. Luckily, December is warm enough in Pasadena to take bike rides. I miss those days...

Anyways.

We went here: 


This is an outdoor shopping center.  Pasadena doesn't have a very good Christmas atmosphere, so we retreated here for the evening. 
They even make fake snow that occasionally blows around. It really is beautiful.

The distance form our Apartment to Glendale was about 8 miles (one way). It didn't take us too long to get there, because most of the the trip was downhill, which means the trip back was all up hill. This will forever be a cherished day for Tyler and I because it was the last date we had together before Landon was born.

We walked around the shops, saw little kids dressed to see Santa Clause, and we sat on the balcony of a book store that overlooked the beautiful Christmas tree and lights. We even splurged and bought a pretzel from the Wetzel Pretzel stand.  

After we biked there and back, we decided to bike around Pasadena to see the few houses that were decorated for Christmas. We biked a total of about twenty miles that night and it was blissful. 

The next morning, the contractions started...

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Rough and Tough

I took Landon to the library for "Play Date" time a few days ago. He was one of the youngest ones there along with a little girl who was about seven months old. They played great together. She would hand Landon a block and he would throw it and they would both giggle. It was so fun watching him play with another child his age. He was truly engaging with her.

The other children were all about two years old. Some older and some a little younger. There were about twenty children total.
So as you can imagine, it was pretty chaotic.

Children screaming, some crying, and some just yelling because it is fun to be loud.

However, there was one child who was not behaving at all.
He was grabbing toys, hitting, and pushing other children.

At one point, I looked at his mother and she laughed and said to me, "Oh this is normal. Boys will be boys. They were made to be rough and tough...you will see."

Umm...false.

I understand little boys have a ton of energy and are more prone to want to play a little more rough, but that is no excuse for just being plain mean to other children. And I couldn't believe his mother was condoning his behavior by saying he was made to be "rough and tough."

Landon wasn't made to be rough and tough.

He was made to be kind, giving, and loving towards other people. No excuses.

Of course I want him to stand up for himself, but I don't want him to use violence to do so.

Landon is in a phase where he hugs everything.
He hugs his Wild Things characters and his other stuffed animals.
He recently kissed a scarecrow that was dressed as a pirate.

I like to think this is a reflection of what he sees through Tyler and I. He sees us hugging each other and we hug him every chance we get.

I pray he grows into a good, creative, problem solver. Not a little boy who resorts to violence to get what he wants.

I pray he respects and values other humans.

And I pray Tyler and I surround him with knowledge, explanation, and so much love that he doesn't know any differently.
Regardless of what he sees in the world around him.


P.S. If I could just keep him this tiny and sweet his whole life, I would do it.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Precious Moments

These are some of my favorite moments we have captured since Landon was born:

One of Landon's first days at home. 
This is one of the few times I wasn't holding him while he was asleep. 
I just couldn't resist holding him all the time!


Landon has always had a great laugh.
This was the first laugh we captured.


Every time Landon would be close to rolling over, we would grab the camera because we didn't want to miss it! And we didn't!
This was the very first time he rolled over.
Our neighbors probably thought we won the lottery. 


We took Landon to the beach rather often. 
This was the first time we let him feel the water.
He hated it because the water was freezing. 



Love this little laugh.


"Pete The Cat" has not always been his favorite...
(This is one of my favorite videos ever)


One of the best moments I have experienced was when Landon said, "Mama" for the first time. 





Wednesday, December 4, 2013

You Wrote About What?!

For some reason, some people deem breastfeeding inappropriate to talk about an even more inappropriate to breast feed your child in public.

I'm not sure why.
In my opinion, it is the one of the most beautiful and natural things a woman's body is capable of (right after giving birth to a human being).

When Tyler and I would talk about having children, there was always discussion about how we would dress them, the toys they would have, how we would discipline them.
There was never question about what formula we would use because I knew I always wanted to breastfeed our children.

So when we were in the labor and delivery room, the nurse was asking me all kinds of questions that I had no answers to because I wasn't prepared to answer them, and then she asked me a question I knew without a doubt. 

"Will you be breastfeeding or bottle feeding?"

My answer was a quick, and confident, "Absolutely breastfeeding."

Not only is breastfeeding the cheapest way, but it is no doubt the healthiest thing you can offer your baby. I knew even if the baby didn't latch properly, or if it didn't work out for whatever reason, I would use a pump so the baby could still receive the benefits of breast milk.

I feel lucky that Landon did so well with it. He latched right away and everything went smoothy.

That doesn't mean there wasn't a few times in the beginning that I felt like giving up.

It was exhausting because Tyler couldn't be much help during those night time feedings.
It was uncomfortable at first to do in public. 
And not to mention it was pretty painful in the beginning. 

But breastfeeding was one of the most important things to me and not only because it was nutritious, but because this was the first real bond Landon and I had. 

I never spoke to Landon while he was in my womb, never acknowledge his existence, and never called him by name until he was born. 

Of course, there is the natural connection you get with a baby when they are growing inside of you, even if you don't talk to them, but there wasn't that deep emotional connection until the very end (literally) of my pregnancy. 

Landon and I first connected when he latched on for the first time. 

That's when it became real to me that this tiny human was mine. It's also the first time Landon looked up at me with those big dark eyes of his. 

We had an instant connection and that's why I stuck with it.

I'm still nursing Landon in the morning and at night, and I'm not sure when we will stop. My goal was a year, and we made it! And I'm proud of that.

Although it was exhausting nursing him at night, there was something peaceful about being awake in the middle of the night with a snuggly baby who just needed his mama. 

As he nurses now, he holds my hand or touches my face, and even claps when he is done. The thought of weaning him makes me sad, but I will be forever grateful for the ability to breastfeed my precious baby. 




Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Papa Of The Year!

March of 2009, Tyler's nephew, Mason was born. We got the news while we were still at Mount Union and Tyler didn't seem overly excited...that is until he went home for Easter break and saw Mason for the first time.


I received this picture, along with hundreds more that weekend. 
I knew Tyler was in love with this little baby.

After seeing so many pictures and hearing so much about Mason, I couldn't wait to meet him! Of course I instantly fell in love with him and was over joyed when I was also able to call him my nephew. 
Tyler and I loved Mason so much and I believe Tyler said something along the lines of, "Whenever we have a baby, they are going to have a lot to live up to. I don't know how I could love another baby as much as I love Mason." 

And then we had Landon...
Of course we still love Mason so much and I feel so blessed to be able to watch him grow up, but having your own child to love just doesn't compare.


Tyler is the first to get up to change his diapers, always willing feed Landon, plays with him every free minute he has, and loves this little boy unlike I have ever seen a dad love a son.

Since I nursed Landon, Tyler couldn't be much help during those late night feedings, but he would wake up early in the mornings with him so I could stay in bed, and stay up late with him so I could get a few extra hours of sleep.

I've been told having a baby can make or break a relationship and I can see where that can be true for a some people, but this is not the case for us, even considering Landon's entrance into the world.

When we left for the hospital that day, I was crying a lot. Mostly because of pain, but also because I was really scared. Tyler took me in his arms and said, "Everything will be okay. No matter what we have to do, it will be okay." And he was right...everything was okay. Our lives changed in one of the most drastic ways possible, but we were and still are okay.

In fact, we are more than okay. Or marriage has done nothing but get more and more beautiful every day we get to spend with each other and with Landon.


Landon thinks his Papa is the best. Tyler can make him laugh harder than anyone else.
When Landon wakes up and I get him out of his crib, one of the first things he says is, "Papa...Papa" in a whisper of course (I'm still not sure why he whispers it). He will crawl through the house until he finds him. 
Today I found Tyler singing Landon this song. 
Of course he just made it up on the spot, but Landon loved it (notice the applause at the end).
I couldn't ask for a better man to love.

Monday, December 2, 2013

A Year of Firsts

First cry. 
Every doctor and parent knows how important it is to hear your baby cry when they are born. 
Landon's cry was crucial considering we (or the doctors) didn't know what to expect when he was born.


Meeting Mama for the first time.
If we are being honest, the actual birthing process is a blur. I remember thinking, "what in the world is going on?" 
But when they handed him to be for the first time, I immediately fell in love with him.


Papa was the first to change his diaper! 
I feel so lucky to have a husband who is so hands on and willing to change diapers at any time. 
One of the most hilarious texts I have ever gotten from Tyler was, "I could write a book about what just happened while I was changing Landon's diaper."
Landon was pretty little at the time and while he was changing an already nasty diaper, Landon pooped again while he didn't have a diaper on. Once Tyler cleaned that up, Landon peed on him, and once he was finally diapered and picked up, Landon spit up everywhere. 
Yikes....
And may I add, I have never been peed or pooped on. And rarely spit up on. 


Going home from the hospital to a house that had very minimal baby things. 
A few outfits, diapers, blankets, and a pack and play. 
Really, thats all we needed.


Our first Sabbath as a family. 
For those of you who know Tyler and I, we take sabbath very seriously. 
Every Friday from sun down until Saturday's sun down, we rest. 
No work, no working on sermons...just rest with each other and our community. 
So this was important for our new family of three


Landon's first smile was at our Christmas tree.
Call it gas, I call it a genuine, peaceful smile. 


First nap with Mama.
I wish he would cuddle up like this and sleep with me now!


Our first night at home. 
I know what you are thinking...he shouldn't have all those blankets around him. 
It was either that or he would have been cold.
Since we lived in Cali, Tyler and I didn't need a heater, but when Landon was born, we knew it would be too cold for him without one. So before we got a heater, this is how he stayed warm. 
His first night, he slept a straight 6 hours. I was scared to get up in the morning because I was sure something had happened to him. 
This is also before we learned the MAGIC of swaddling. 
P.S. SWADDLE YOUR BABIES, PEOPLE! They will sleep!
Watch "Happiest Baby On The Block." It changed our lives. 
Seriously. Do It.
End swaddling rant. 


Landon before we left the house for the first time. This was the only jacket he had at the time. 
Haha poor baby :) At least he looks cute and he was warm.


Our first Christmas Eve services. 
It was about 70 degrees that day so we got to walk to church. It was beautiful and one of my best memories.
Landon slept the whole time.


Landon's first Christmas Eve Night.
He is waving!


Landon's first Christmas. 
He hated it...
We are hoping it goes better this year!


First time going to the beach as a family!

Landon's first hike. 
He slept through most of it. 
But I felt like a champ hiking five miles through the mountains while carrying him in his wrap.
He went on more hikes the first 6 months of his life than some people get to do in their lifetime.


Landon's first mirror experience. He was so surprised to see himself!
He still likes looking in mirrors. 
He probably thinks he is pretty cute, too.


First vaccines.
I debating and researched whether or not I wanted to vaccinate him. 
But after talking to a few Doctor friends, we went for it and it has gone smoothy.


First time going swimming! 
He has always loved water (especially the bath tub).


His first pair of shoes. 
I think he only wore these twice because obviously, he doesn't like having shoes on!


His first boo boo.
I'm not even sure what happened...


His first Easter
Obviously he wasn't really impressed with this holiday either. 


Sitting up for the first time at 6 months!


His first bike ride. 
He was too little to care about his helmet, but now that he is older, he hates wearing it. 


His first time sitting in a high chair!


First time standing on his own! 


Flying on an air plane for the first time.
I was so nervous for this trip, but he did great! 
Minus the last hour when Tyler had to walk him up and down the aisle .


Swimming by himself in his own little pool.
It doesn't compare to the beach, but still fun!


First crawling race with Papa!


One of the first times he had baby food.
He is a much cleaner eater now.


First time swinging.


First pumpkin carving! 
He actually enjoyed playing in the pumpkin guts.


His first halloween.
He was The Lorax this year!



Landon's first cookie dough beater.
He loved it.

Christmas decorating!
Papa had to give Landon a talk about not destroying the Christmas Tree.
I'm happy to say he hasn't bothered it at all!

I want to soak up every precious moment of his life.
I'm sure I will continue to document all of Landon's first. 
     First step, first time out (I'm sure he will have them), first day of school, first game, first concert.
I can't wait to see the person he develops into. He is only (almost) a year old and he is already incredible.