Once we were in the delivery room and the nurse found the baby's heart beat, I then at least knew he was alive. We didn't know what to expect once he was born...what he would look like, if he would be deformed at all, or if HE actually was a he or a she.
We had an amazing nurse. She gave us the space we needed, but was there for support. I found great comfort in her and with her in the room, I felt safe. She was so kind, understanding, non judgmental, and even brought humor into the room, which was needed. She never left us when we needed her and she answered all of our questions honestly.
She bought Landon his blue striped blanket which he never goes a night without.
I'll never forget the phone calls I made to my parents.
My mom was at a Christmas party and I knew she was. As much as I didn't want to give her the news while she was at that party, I knew I didn't have much time, so I called her.
I told her I needed to talk to her and I asked if she was sitting down. As I told her what was going on, she said to me, "Oh honey, I don't know if I should be thrilled or really scared." And I said, "Probably both." She prayed with me over the phone and she was calm...exactly what I needed her to be.
I then called my dad who was luckily at home and not at work. My blood pressure got so high from nerves that the monitor went off.
I could hear the fear in his voice. He kept saying, "Are you sure you are okay...are you sure you are okay?" I think he asked me the same question about four times...but rightfully so.
We picked out two names. One for a girl and one for a boy.
And eventually the pushing process started.
I pushed for four hours.
Finally, at 6:47pm (pacific time), a beautiful, HEALTHY, perfect, baby boy was born!
6lbs. 13oz. and 20in. long.
There were multiple doctors in the room because they were prepared for the worst, but once he was born and evaluated, they delivered the news that he was miraculously perfect. The doctor even said, "I can't find a single thing wrong with him." This is the best news a new parent can receive.
After I nursed him for the first time, they took him to the nursery for the other tests he would have received while in the womb and Tyler and I were sent to a resting room where Landon would arrive early the next morning.
I ate a grilled cheese sandwich that night while Tyler made calls to our closest friends and family. We "rested" (yeah right) and waited to be reunited with Landon.
We were sent home two days later.
Somedays, I still can't believe he is ours. He is OUR baby!
Somedays, I look at him and wonder to myself...where did you come from?
I am so grateful that God chose and in trusted us to be his parents.
We may not have known he existed, but we love him like we knew he was there the whole time.
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