Thursday, September 12, 2013

What The Heck Am I Doing?

Last night, I was laying in bed and for some reason, it just hit me...
     Someday, Landon is going to grow up.

I was overcome with fear, pressure, and an overwhelming sense that I have to try my best now so he will grow into a respectful man someday.

I think I'm pretty good at teaching him how to clap, wave, eat, turn book pages, and I'm hoping I can teach him his colors, how to read, and how to count.

But, how am I supposed to teach him how to be respectful of not only himself, but to the other people around him?

How do I teach him how to treat women as precious creations and not objects?

How do I teach him to love people regardless of their race, sexuality, or religion?

How do I teach him to be slow to anger?

How do I teach him to be honest with himself and other people?

How do I teach him to live the way God created him to live?

How do I teach him to treasure his body?

I guess there is just so much I feel like he has to learn and how am I supposed to teach him when I am still learning these things for myself?

Tyler and I were planning on waiting at least 3-5 years before we had a baby because we wanted to make sure we had some kind of plan for the whole parent thing.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not ready to be a parent, but here I am.

There is no doubt that I am completely, 100% in love with this boy, but I think that is why I worry so much...



Someday, this precious baby is going to be an adult.
I pray he is the best he can possibly be...

And I hope I can help him get there.