I was scared, I was anxious, I was excited, but I was also feeling guilty.
The guilt of bringing another baby into Landon's life had set in.
My sweet, Landon who had been receiving my undivided attention for the last 2.5 years was now going to have to "share" his mama.
I cried. A lot.
Immediately after Toren was born, I was already feeling the stress of balancing two kids.
Knowing how crucial the first few weeks of bonding with my newborn was, and wanting my two year old to not feel any less loved or important was almost more pressure than I was anticipating.
Luckily, and I truly mean we are so lucky, Landon adapted better than I could have ever imagined. It didn't take long for him to fall in love with his brother and he fully took on his roll of, big brother, with grace.
He has been loving, sweet, protective, and selfless from the beginning.
And even though he has handled this transition with such ease, I still feel the, "mommy guilt" as they call it.
I feel like I'm always telling Landon, "I'll play with you as soon as I'm done feeding Toren." or, "As soon as I put Toren to sleep, I'll get you a snack." or, "When I'm done changing Toren's diaper, we can go outside."
I don't intentionally put Toren first, he is just more needy and one of the best things about this new journey with two kids is, Landon understands that. He understands Toren needs a little more attention and he demonstrates such patience.
So, today because of all this, I decided I was going to take Landon out for the afternoon - just the two of us. Uninterrupted by his little brother who always seems to need something.
Naturally, we went to Chick fil A.
Landon has never been to any other fast food restaurant, besides subway. He doesn't even know what McDonalds is. In fact, a few weeks ago we went through a Steak and Shake drive through and he was so amazed when the lady handed us a milkshake through the window.
We like Chick Fil A and there is a play land, which I'm usually not a fan of.
1. They are infested with germs
2. Its pure chaos.
But, what the heck! Right?
He happily ate his lunch all while dancing in his seat because he could hardly contain his excitement for the play area that awaited him.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't at least consider getting the food to go and having a fun picnic in the back of the car (which we have done before), but I knew he would prefer the germy slide.
So, I took a breath, and opened the door to the play land and it was just as I remembered them being as a child. Loud, chaotic, and germy.
Did I mention the germs?
But he loved it, and surprisingly, there were some really sweet kids in there that Landon enjoyed playing with. He doesn't get a lot interaction with other kids besides from his friends at church and at story time, so its always interesting to watch him play with other kids.
I also learned the Chick Fil A play land is a hot spot for other stay at home moms.
I enjoyed talking with other moms and laughing at our crazy kids and the funny games they were coming up with.
We both surprisingly enjoyed ourselves!
And yes, we promptly washed our hands as soon as we left.
Our next stop was the mall and it wasn't to buy anything.
Landon loves escalators, so thats what we did.
We rode the escalator in Macy's for about twenty minutes and admired the Christmas decorations.
He was convinced there was something really exciting in this box that was actually part of a display.
And he was even more confused why this man wouldn't talk to him.
But the most exciting thing we did, was ride the mall train!
We see it every time we go to the mall, but we don't usually have time to ride it and not to mention it is pretty pricy for a five minute spin around crowds of people.
But, we splurged and you would have thought I took him to Disney World.
The Toy Story display was naturally his favorite.
And since we were having such a great time, we took one more ride on the escalator before we left.
On the way home, I asked him what his favorite part was and he said, "I like the train, but when is Toren going to get to ride it?"
Have I ever mentioned what a great brother he is?
He absolutely deserves some time with just his mama.
And I'll happily oblige.