Thursday, September 14, 2017

SAHM Life

I've been sitting with this thought in my head for almost a month now.
I literally think it every single day:

I get to do so many random things that I love doing.
I get to coach a pom pom team, I'm a cheerleading coach, I've started up a photography business, I get to stay at home with my boys?!

And not only that, I get to do so many other things that I find such value in...
Taking Landon to school and picking him up everyday.
I get to take Toren to story time every Wednesday.
I can have lunch dates with friends during the week.

This is a life that I could have only dreamed I would live.

I am happy.

Genuinely happy.

I might be a little exhausted. I get frustrated plenty. Somedays I feel burnt out.
But daily, I feel so lucky.

However, it has taken me four solid years to feel fulfilled.
Which may seem selfish, but I'm sure other stay at home moms can relate.
So hear me out.

This is life:
Baby wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes one time. Sometimes six times.
He wakes up for the day at 7:00am, but you are no where near ready to be awake after only a few hours of broken sleep.
Your toddler wakes up around 7:30 and immediately demands breakfast.
You feed them both. And you clean up for the first time that day, of about thirty seven times.
It's play time!
Except play time means screaming because the baby destroyed the toddlers castle he had been building. Or the toddler takes the dinosaur the baby had been chewing on for five minutes. This goes back and forth until a snack is needed.
And I say, "needed" because, children need forty seven snacks a day. Seriously! So many snacks! Why do they need so many snacks?! I could write an entire post of my frustration with how my children think they need snacks every thirty minutes...and I really mean thirty seconds.
Snacks over. Clean up. Again.
If you are feeling adventurous, you take them to the grocery store, or to the park. They usually do great, but getting in and out of the car takes an extra five minutes because, well, carseats. So many buckles. You're exhausted before you get to your destination just from buckling them up.
You get home, unload children, and its lunch time. More food.
Clean up!
Nap time!!! Praise the Lord for nap time. Y'all who's kids don't nap...how do you survive? I couldn't live your life.
But nap time means you are probably cleaning up again or taking care of other things that are essential for maintaining a household. (If we are being honest, nap time means a few minutes of uninterrupted Facebook scrolling or laying on the couch without being climbed on, licked, jumped on).
Have I mentioned being touched out? Seriously, somedays, I'm touched out by 9am.
Nap time is over.
Snack time! *insert eye roll*
Try to survive without loosing your mind until dinner.
Dinner means more clean up.
Play time. More crying because sharing is a difficult concept.
Bath time? Tsunami time? Its the same thing...
Story time. Bed time. My favorite time.

Every. Single. Day.

Now, I totally get there are so many moms who would kill for this.
But as a stay at home mom, there was a time where I would kill to have a job that got me out of the house every day.

Staying at home with young children can be hard. Its frustrating at times. And the biggest thing for me...it's lonely.
It's hard not having adult interaction for most of the day.

But just about the time I start feeling frustrated...and by frustrated I mean sometimes I feel like I'm absolutely going to loose my mind,  a little boy randomly tells me that he loves me. Or the littlest one randomly sings Happy Birthday to me, even though its not even my birthday. And I get pictures like this handed to me with the words, "I'm sorry if you are feeling frustrated, Mama. I drew you this picture to make you feel better. It's a picture of us at the fair walking to a Farris Wheel. Do you feel happy now?"


Even on the exhausting days, I have to remind myself how lucky I am that I don't have to miss a second of their little lives. 

Back to my original point, I get to raise my children along with doing so many things I love and sometimes, it takes an exhausting, frustrating day to remind me just how blessed I am.

It took me four years to finally feel like this. 
I was bitter so often. 

I'm here to tell you, if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, find value in yourself again.

You are more than just a mom.
You are so much more than that!
Let that person out who is fighting to find yourself again.
Do the things you love doing and do them for you. 
You owe it to yourself.
You owe it to your children and spouse. 
It's worth it! And so are you...

1 comment: