SAHM Life

I've been sitting with this thought in my head for almost a month now.
I literally think it every single day:

I get to do so many random things that I love doing.
I get to coach a pom pom team, I'm a cheerleading coach, I've started up a photography business, I get to stay at home with my boys?!

And not only that, I get to do so many other things that I find such value in...
Taking Landon to school and picking him up everyday.
I get to take Toren to story time every Wednesday.
I can have lunch dates with friends during the week.

This is a life that I could have only dreamed I would live.

I am happy.

Genuinely happy.

I might be a little exhausted. I get frustrated plenty. Somedays I feel burnt out.
But daily, I feel so lucky.

However, it has taken me four solid years to feel fulfilled.
Which may seem selfish, but I'm sure other stay at home moms can relate.
So hear me out.

This is life:
Baby wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes one time. Sometimes six times.
He wakes up for the day at 7:00am, but you are no where near ready to be awake after only a few hours of broken sleep.
Your toddler wakes up around 7:30 and immediately demands breakfast.
You feed them both. And you clean up for the first time that day, of about thirty seven times.
It's play time!
Except play time means screaming because the baby destroyed the toddlers castle he had been building. Or the toddler takes the dinosaur the baby had been chewing on for five minutes. This goes back and forth until a snack is needed.
And I say, "needed" because, children need forty seven snacks a day. Seriously! So many snacks! Why do they need so many snacks?! I could write an entire post of my frustration with how my children think they need snacks every thirty minutes...and I really mean thirty seconds.
Snacks over. Clean up. Again.
If you are feeling adventurous, you take them to the grocery store, or to the park. They usually do great, but getting in and out of the car takes an extra five minutes because, well, carseats. So many buckles. You're exhausted before you get to your destination just from buckling them up.
You get home, unload children, and its lunch time. More food.
Clean up!
Nap time!!! Praise the Lord for nap time. Y'all who's kids don't nap...how do you survive? I couldn't live your life.
But nap time means you are probably cleaning up again or taking care of other things that are essential for maintaining a household. (If we are being honest, nap time means a few minutes of uninterrupted Facebook scrolling or laying on the couch without being climbed on, licked, jumped on).
Have I mentioned being touched out? Seriously, somedays, I'm touched out by 9am.
Nap time is over.
Snack time! *insert eye roll*
Try to survive without loosing your mind until dinner.
Dinner means more clean up.
Play time. More crying because sharing is a difficult concept.
Bath time? Tsunami time? Its the same thing...
Story time. Bed time. My favorite time.

Every. Single. Day.

Now, I totally get there are so many moms who would kill for this.
But as a stay at home mom, there was a time where I would kill to have a job that got me out of the house every day.

Staying at home with young children can be hard. Its frustrating at times. And the biggest thing for me...it's lonely.
It's hard not having adult interaction for most of the day.

But just about the time I start feeling frustrated...and by frustrated I mean sometimes I feel like I'm absolutely going to loose my mind,  a little boy randomly tells me that he loves me. Or the littlest one randomly sings Happy Birthday to me, even though its not even my birthday. And I get pictures like this handed to me with the words, "I'm sorry if you are feeling frustrated, Mama. I drew you this picture to make you feel better. It's a picture of us at the fair walking to a Farris Wheel. Do you feel happy now?"

Even on the exhausting days, I have to remind myself how lucky I am that I don't have to miss a second of their little lives. 

Back to my original point, I get to raise my children along with doing so many things I love and sometimes, it takes an exhausting, frustrating day to remind me just how blessed I am.

It took me four years to finally feel like this. 

I was bitter so often. 

I'm here to tell you, if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, find value in yourself again.

You are more than just a mom.

You are so much more than that!

Let that person out who is fighting to find yourself again.

Do the things you love doing and do them for you. 

You owe it to yourself.

You owe it to your children and spouse. 

It's worth it! And so are you...

Becoming A Viking

It's Friday Night (and Saturday morning) football season which means the Kleebergers spend most of their time at Evergreen High School, or on school busses that take us to away games. And when you live in the middle-of-nowhere, you have to drive an hour or so to another middle-of-nowhere place for football games.

Anyways...

With Tyler coaching football and me being the cheer coach, Friday nights get a little tricky. Luckily, we have great friends, family, and our favorite babysitter, Sydney to step up and help out whenever they can. Shout out to those people - you are great.

Last Friday, I asked Landon if he was interested in going to an away game with me. Of course he agreed and I'm positive the only reason was because he knew he was going to get to ride the school bus. Thats a pretty big deal to a four year old!
Toren, had a great time staying at home with Sydney, watching The Grinch, and going to bed at his normal bedtime, which is 7:30. Now that I think about it, I'm a little bit jealous of his wild Friday night.

Landon couldn't wait to go. Not only was he riding the school bus, but he was getting to hang out with "his cheerleaders." Also, shout out to my girls for loving on my boys! Y'all are awesome with the two crazy children who often interrupt your practices.

As anticipated, he loved riding on the bus.

At least for the first ten minutes before he fell asleep on my lap.

I was left to reminisce on my high school years and the ridiculous amount of hours I spent riding a bus to away football games, track meets, band competitions, parades, spring trips, etc.
As I was sitting there, listening in on the chaos that is high school students, a few thoughts popped into my head.

1. I don't know if WCHS still does this, but we always road couch busses. Always. No matter where we were going. Why was I not more thankful for that?! Seriously. Its so much better than a school bus. Thanks, band boosters. Y'all were (and probably still are) awesome.

2. How did we ever survive without smart phones? What did we do that whole time?! I remember when I thought I was so cool because my parents bought me an iPod shuffle so I could listen to music on the way to wherever I was going.  So what did we do on those long rides? Oh yeah...actually engaged and interacted with each other and did ridiculous things like slide goldfish that we would win at fairs or parades, up and down the aisle.
I didn't even have texting on my phone until my senior year of high school.
These kids make me feel so old. And now I'm saying things like, "these kids."

3. My biggest realization was someday, Landon and Toren are going to be in high school.  If I could keep them four and two, I totally would. Ok, maybe I would let Toren turn three because lets be real, two year olds are ridiculous most of the time. But for real, the thought of them being in high school gives me a little hint of anxiety.

Luckily, before I got too lost in my thoughts of my two babies growing up, we arrived. 

It only took about three minutes into the first quarter before Landon totally lost interest in the game and became completely inthralled with his dinosaurs and some pinecones that he gathered on our walk to the bleachers. 

Its funny...I have people ask me all the time if our boys are going to play football when they are older. I guess they assume since their dad was a rock star quarterback in high school and in college and now a high school coach, that the boys will just follow in his footsteps. 

I highly doubt (although could be wrong) Landon will ever play football. He is the least aggressive, non competitive child I think I've ever met. 

Toren is so obsessed with music and drumming, I'm hoping that carries throughout his life and he doesn't even know there is a sport called football.

I guess my hope is that they both love dinosaurs and music way more than they ever love football. 

Their brains are too precious and I would need anxiety medication if I have to sit through football games with them actually on the field.

Back to the game...

The Vikings haven't won since the beginning of their 2015 season. 

Last year was rough. Really, really rough. 

This year is much different and there has been an obvious switch. Not only with the football team, but the overall vibe of the Viking community. 

Winning was a HUGE deal. They totally earned this win.

I guess as my boys grow up, if they have to grow up, I want them growing up a community like Evergreen. 

A community that comes together, which we have seen first hand - especially in loosing two influential people in the same year. 

I don't know how much school spirit I actually had when I was in high school, but I can say that I'm so proud of be a Viking and my heart swells with love for this place.