My Bucket List

The idea of a bucket list sounds a little morbid to me.

A list of things you want to do before you are dead...

Regardless, I started one a few years ago:

1. Get a Tattoo - Check! But, I want more.

2. Eat at a restaurant owned by Gordon Ramsey - I'm a little bummed we didn't take advantage of his restaurants while living ten minutes from Los Angeles.

3. Drive across the country - Check! I probably wouldn't do it again, but it was definitely a fun experience. Especially since Tyler and I did it together. I wouldn't want to spend that many hours in a car with anyone else.

4. See Cirque du Soleil Perform - Tickets are so expensive!

5. Go to Disney World - Maybe when Landon is a little older.

6. Give my wedding dress away to a girl who needs (and wants) it - As soon as we bought my dress, I knew I wanted to give it away when I was done with it. There is no real need for me to wear it again so I don't feel right keeping it for myself. It is being stored in a closet right now and I would love for another woman to feel beautiful in it. If you know of someone needing a wedding dress, point them in my direction, please!

7. Fill balloons with paint and then pop them on a canvas - Because who doesn't like the splatter paint everywhere?!

8. Swing off of a rope into a lake - Just like in the movies ;-)

9. Go apple picking/strawberry picking: So Tyler can make pies.

10. Cut down our own Christmas tree - We could do it this year, but I'm afraid Landon will eat the pine needles. So maybe next year when he is getting over eating everything he gets his little hands on. 

11. Jump off a rock into water (with the presence of a water fall) - Doesn't this sound like a dream?

12. Pay for a families meal at a restaurant - Because people are deserving of a random act of kindness.

13. Go camping on the beach - I love the beach and I love camping.

14. Take the inner tube tour down the canals of Hawaii - I would even suffice for just a trip to Hawaii.

15. Watch baby sea turtles hatch - Because I LOVE turtles. And baby sea turtles are adorable.

16.  Go Zip lining - This is pretty realistic

 17. Go Deep Sea Fishing - I should have taken better advantage of my California life when the beach was twenty minutes from our house...

18. Grow our own fruit (strawberries, watermelon, ect.) - Check! However I would love to have a garden that can help sustain our living. Our little porch garden was great, but we would have starved.

19. See the Ellen Degeneres Show - I have been trying to get tickets for at least two years! We even tried sending in Landon's story! I don't want to be on the show...I just want to go and watch (and dance of course). 

20. Ride on a boat - Check! Not to mention we got to see dolphins and whales up close!

21. See the human body exhibit - Because I'm an anatomy nerd and would highly enjoy looking at a human with no skin.

22. Run the Color Run - Check! One of my favorite life experiences. So fun!

23. Ride in a convertible - With the wind blowing in my hair...

24. Ride on a motorcycle - Check! Thanks to my Brother, Kyle.

25. Go to a Karaoke bar - Not to sing...just to watch.

26. Play Bingo in a bingo hall - Because my gram loved playing bingo.

27. Set a dandelion on fire - Check! But highly disappointing...

28. Start a Blog - Check! 

29. Build an upside down snowman - Because a snowman standing on his head would look hilarious.

30. Adopt a child - I know this is A LOT more serious than just something to check off of a bucket list, but I would love to share my love with a child who needs it.

31. Become really good a photography - Landon would be my main model (of course).

32. Be social media free for a year - Don't you think that would be refreshing??

33. Chop fire wood - Probably just one log.



What's on your bucket list???

Dear Daughter-in-Law

It may be wrong to assume Landon will get married someday, but incase he does:


Dear Future Daughter In Law,

It seems funny to be writing to you considering Landon is only ten months old. He is almost walking, but not quite. He "talks" a lot, but the only real word he can say is, "mama." He likes to carry around socks and loves playing with (and trying to eat) leaves. He is a little silly, but incredibly wonderful.

I wish you understood how much I love Landon, but that is impossible.  I'm not really sure I even understand the love I have for him.
It is unexplainable.
Someday, if you have your own children, you will then, maybe see what I mean. You just can't describe the love you have for your child.

Right now, I am his world.
He depends on me for everything and I love this.
I am able to comfort him when he is sad and I can make him laugh by doing just about anything.
He loves when I hold him and he relaxes when I am in the same room as him.
He wakes up, sees my face, and gets so excited! He can't even control his arms from flapping up and down before I pick him up.
Before I go to sleep every night, I can't help but get excited to see him in the morning.

But now, you are his world.

And don't worry, I'm not sad about this and I won't try to keep him as my own.

You will now comfort him when he needs you.
I hope you two laugh together every day.
Hold him and be his safe place, as he will be yours.
You are the first person he will see when he wakes up and the last person he sees before he goes to sleep.

I pray Tyler and I have been a good example for Landon of what love really is.
I'm sure we are probably still working on it, but thats how love works...You don't suddenly figure it out and all your marriage struggles are gone.
     It takes time and patience.
     You are constantly figuring out how to love better.
     There is no "How To" book because your love for each other is unique and unlike anyone else's.
I pray you two find love in each other like Tyler and I have found in each other.

I hope he treats you with the respect you deserve.
I hope he opens the car door for you like his dad has done for me since the day we have met.
I hope he cooks for you.
I hope he loves you unconditionally.

As I watch Tyler count Landon's fingers and toes, I hear him squeal in delight and I can't imagine not keeping him here with me for his whole, little life.
But that isn't the way it works...and I'm ok with that.

As much as I think Landon loves me, I hope he loves you more.
Nobody will love him the way I do, but your love for him is his most important thing.

So, love my son like you have never loved anyone or anything ever before.
Cherish and adore him.
He is the most precious thing in my life...please, make him yours.

My Favorite Day of The Year!

Tomorrow is my favorite day of the year.

Its not a holiday...at least not a nationally recognized one.

Only a handful of people will remember and celebrate the day.

The person this day is centered around doesn't particularly like the day as much as you would think. In fact, he tries to deny that it is a special day at all.

October 12th is.......

TYLER'S BIRTHDAY!!!! 

Tyler, if you are reading this, you are probably "mad" because now people know it is your birthday, but! I get too excited not to talk about it. 

No, I'm not sorry ;-)

My husband's birthday is my favorite day of the year.

Landon's birthday is a tie. 

I love this day so much because this is the day he started to become who he is today. And the person he is today is the one I love more than anything or anyone on this planet. 

I love celebrating this day because it is a reminder of how precious his life is to me and how my life would be nothing like it is now if it wasn't for him. 

I've written before how much I love him, but words cannot even begin to describe the love I have for this man.

Happy birthday blob!

What The Heck Am I Doing?

Last night, I was laying in bed and for some reason, it just hit me...
     Someday, Landon is going to grow up.

I was overcome with fear, pressure, and an overwhelming sense that I have to try my best now so he will grow into a respectful man someday.

I think I'm pretty good at teaching him how to clap, wave, eat, turn book pages, and I'm hoping I can teach him his colors, how to read, and how to count.

But, how am I supposed to teach him how to be respectful of not only himself, but to the other people around him?

How do I teach him how to treat women as precious creations and not objects?

How do I teach him to love people regardless of their race, sexuality, or religion?

How do I teach him to be slow to anger?

How do I teach him to be honest with himself and other people?

How do I teach him to live the way God created him to live?

How do I teach him to treasure his body?

I guess there is just so much I feel like he has to learn and how am I supposed to teach him when I am still learning these things for myself?

Tyler and I were planning on waiting at least 3-5 years before we had a baby because we wanted to make sure we had some kind of plan for the whole parent thing.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not ready to be a parent, but here I am.

There is no doubt that I am completely, 100% in love with this boy, but I think that is why I worry so much...

Someday, this precious baby is going to be an adult.

I pray he is the best he can possibly be...

And I hope I can help him get there.

Landon, I Want You To Know...

Landon rarely lets me hold him anymore. Of course he always wants me to pick him up, but as far as cuddling, or being close, he really wants no part in that. He is so curious and constantly exploring as much as he can...even though he can't really go anywhere yet.

He really is growing so fast. Everyone says, "When you have babies, they grow up really fast." Of course you don't really believe it until you have your own.

I swear Landon grows every time he goes to sleep. When I go into his room after he wakes up from a nap, he always seems taller or heavier.
His face matures more and more everyday and with that, he continues to get cuter and cuter (if that is possible).

With this being said, I try to soak up every second I can with him. I don't want to miss one single thing. When I say, "If I could attach a camera to Landon, I literally would do it." Time is so precious with him.

So, I'm writing this post for him.


Landon, there are some things I would like you to understand:

1. You will always have choices to make.
We have been giving you choices since you were born. We let you choose your bedtime stories, which jar of baby food you would like to have for lunch, the pajamas you wear to sleep, and which toy you would like to take with you in the car. I understand holding up two choices and you just grabbing one is probably not the most accurate way for you to choose something, but as a (now) seven month old, its a great start. However, someday, you are going to have to make real, hard, life changing decisions. Just know that I will back you up, even if I don't agree with you. You will learn from your mistakes and I can try to give advice as you want it, but the choices you make will be yours.

2. When you grow up, ask your Dad for help/advice.
He knows how to treat women with respect and I expect nothing less from you. He opens doors for me, dances with me, makes me feel cherished, beautiful, and admired, and he loves me unconditionally. Someday, if you choose to pursue a woman, she should be treated the same way.

3. But, don't just ask for dating advice...
Learn from his work ethic and dedication. He is one of the hardest workers I know. He works until things are done and he does them well.

4. Always show your emotions.
In this society, a man can come off as "weak" if he willingly shows his emotions. I challenge you to shatter that stereotype. Be sensitive and allow yourself to feel happiness, sadness, fear, excitement, grief, anger, and love.

5. Don't feel the pressure to be "the best" or the "smartest."
From the time a baby is born, there is pressure for them to role over before they are supposed to, read chapter books before they enter kindergarden, and to graduate college in three years instead of four. Of course I want you to work hard and do great things, but I don't want you to be "the best" according to societies standards...I just want you to be the best Landon you can possibly be. You already have so much potential and I can't wait to see how you take part in making this world more like God created it.

6. Get tattoos if you want them! (Please be sensible though)
In fact, take me with you.

7. Take full advantage of your naps.
Lately, you seem to be skipping out on some precious sleep time throughout the day. Trust me when I say, "Someday, you are going to want to take a nap or sleep in and you just won't be able to." Since you have the chance now, take it.

8. Please, keep surprising me.
You have literally been surprising me since the day you were born. Your birthday was the biggest and best surprise I have ever been given.  But, beyond that, you surprise me all the time. You learn how to do things without me even teaching you! You behave better than I would have ever expected a seven month old to behave. I know that someday, you may unpleasantly surprise me and although I may act like it is not okay, it is okay and I will love you through it.

9. There is nothing you can do that will change my love for you.
It is hard for me to look at you and know that someday, you are going to make me mad. You will do something you are not supposed to or make a choice that isn't great, but regardless of any of that...I will love you.

10. Take your time growing up.
Enjoy your childhood and everything that comes with it. Play in the mud and get dirty, make blanket forts in the living room, play with a baby doll if you want, build lego castles, stay outside all day, ride your bike through puddles.

11. Above all of this, know that I love you.
When I married your dad, I didn't know how I would have any more love to give anyone else. Then, you were born. You didn't take any of the love I have for your dad, but you created a new kind of love in me that I didn't know existed. I'm sorry that you get the, "I'm the first child and mama has no idea what she is doing" thing sometimes, but I love that we are learning together. Thank you for being such a patient, loving, sweet, ADORABLE, funny, chill, little boy. I thank God for entrusting me with you and I promise to give you what you need to flourish in this world.

A Consuming Thought

My husband is a genius (in my eyes). He reads, listens to, and observes so much stuff! I don't always appreciate his knowledge because some times, I just have a hard time feeling interested about ancient history, the hebrew or greek language, geology, or the difference between direct and indirect communication and why it is, "so fascinating."

Don't get me wrong, there are some things I love hearing him talk about. His way of explaining things to me is amazing and really engaging. He is a great story teller and a great teacher. I would even venture to say I have learned more about, living like Jesus, from him the years he taught at campus church than I have my entire life. He is incredible.

Now, there are occasions where he will have read things or listen to something that can really hold my attention.

For example, he was once listening to this man give a talk. I'm not sure what the context was, but he said something that really stuck with me. I honestly think about it everyday.

He said, "Everything is amazing and we are still not happy."

How true is this?!

He gave a list of examples. Some of them were humorous, but I see things happening everyday and I can't help but think, everything is amazing and we are still not happy.

You go into a restaurant and you order something off the menu. Maybe you wanted your ketchup on the side and they put it on the burger instead. It's so easy to complain and send it back instead of just being thankful for having luxury of going to a restaurant and having someone else cook your meal for you.

Or, have you ever gone to a restaurant and ordered an appetizer and you were too full to eat your actual meal. Who would of thought we would live in a world where we have, "too much food."

Tyler and I recently moved into our new home. Our things were supposed to be shipped three weeks ago and we found out this week that our things are still in L.A. We are pretty frustrated (to say the least). However, our home came partially furnished, we have a wonderful community that has helped provide us with meals (since we have nothing to cook with), and we actually have all the essentials of life. I'm finding out just how little you actually need to live comfortably.
But if we are being completely honest here, I still would like our stuff. At least my bike...

I'm ridiculous in the sense that I get annoyed when there isn't an outlet close enough to the couch that I can plug my computer or Iphone charger into. 

Everything is amazing and we are still not happy.

One of my great friends, Sarah Roper, posted this article from the Huffington Post and it sort of plays off what I am talking about. Check it out.

I Must Confess...

I hate flies and I kill them with every chance I get. I know, I know...they have the breath of life too, but  they drive me insane. When one comes in the house, I rarely give up until I squish it. I'm even guilty of leaving the smashed fly on the window...

I am fascinated by tattoos. I'm already planning my next two.

Secretly, I like Justin Bieber's music. I'm actually mad at myself for this. His tunes are just so catchy.

Watching Dance Moms is such a guilty pleasure. That show is absolutely ridiculous, yet it continues to suck me in week after week. 

I may or may not have eaten a half a jar of Nutella in a week...

If I could attached a permanent camera to Landon's face, I would do it. I hate missing good picture opportunities. 

My clothes have to match or it makes me uncomfortable. Even the accessories.

I'm guilty of sneaking into hotel pools. The Westin was right across the street from our Pasadena apartment and I took great advantage of their swimming pool. BUT! I'm not the only one that did this (and I know that doesn't make it ok).

My desire to have a puppy has vanished. Before we had Landon, I was constantly talking about getting a dog. Now, that is at the very bottom of my priority list. 

I am terrible at drinking alcohol. You are probably thinking, "That is a good thing". But I mean really terrible. I can't stand the taste of it. No leisurely glass of wine for me...ever. Yuck.

I feel the same about coffee.

Seeing a deceased person really freaks me out. This is kind of ironic considering my dad's career. but I can't even stand the smell of flowers because it reminds me of a funeral home and then I get goose bumps...

I'm not sure that I want anymore children. Landon is so great, why jinx it? But, I am open to the possibility of my mind changing...eventually. 

I love Mac products and am completely against any company that mocks them (mostly samsung). 

I wish I read more books.

I'm a nerd when it comes to the anatomy. Most of the books I have are about the human body.

I am a feast for mosquitos. I'm actually surprised I haven't gotten west nile virus.

I'd choose cuddling with Landon over (almost) anything. 

I wish I were more creative and crafty. 

Tyler basically wrote one of my history papers in college. I got an A. 

I shave my arms. Weird...I know.

My geography and directional skills are really embarrassing.