Final Countdown of 2013

Here are my top ten moments of 2013!

10. Going On a Whale Watching Tour
I've always loved the ocean and the creatures that are in it. It is nice to feel tiny while in the midst of something so huge. I didn't expect to see anything when we started out. Of course, there is no guarantee you will see any whales or dolphins and there is definitely no money refund. But! We got lucky and ended up in the midst of an entire pod of dolphins.

9. Jared Becoming a Part of Our Family:

While living in California, it was hard to have a sense of family and community. We found this with Jared. He not only loves us, but he loves Landon as if he were biologically related. There were few people I was comfortable leaving Landon with while we were in California, but I was at ease when we left him with Jared. I knew Landon would be well taken care of and loved as if we were there. It just feels natural to take Jared in as another member of our family. 

8. Every Hike We Completed

When we decided to move to Toledo, we committed to go on a hike or to the beach (at least) once a week. And sometimes, we did both in one day. What a life, huh? I can't express the beauty we discovered while living on the West Coast.

7. Running The Color Run

I loved running in high school and for parts of college, but my love for it eventually faded. I don't think there was a specific reason why...I just stopped making it a priority. However, on My Bucket List I had said I wanted to run The Color Run, which is a 5k. So with a running history, I figured it wouldn't be hard and not to mention, it looked like a lot of fun. AND IT WAS! The run wasn't competitive at all. I didn't have a goal finish time, I just wanted to run and have fun with my cousin, Lexi, and that is exactly what I did.

6. Biking Along The Beach With Tyler and Landon

All my favorite things tied into one! Tyler, Landon, my bike, and the beach. It doesn't get any better than that. Experiencing the beauty of the Ocean with Tyler beside me while pulling Landon in his little bike trailer is not only one of my favorite moments of 2013, but easily one of my favorite life moments. 

5. Moving To Ohio

It's  funny though, because if you would have told us in May 2012 that we would be moving back to Ohio only after a year of living in California, we would have laughed and said, "There is no way we are moving back to Ohio." But...here we are, and this life is beautiful. Beaches, mountains, and warm weather are no comparison to living closer to family. This doesn't mean there are not days where I don't miss our life in Cali...it was so easy (and so warm), but Tyler and I are so happy and content with where we are in our lives and moving back was one of the greatest decisions we have made. 

4. Becoming Members of A Methodist Church 

Another funny thing. If someone would have told Tyler a year ago he would have been part of a United Methodist ministry team, he would have denied it all day. But, here we are. He is the pastor at a church that is located literally in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farm land. It has been nothing but a blessing to become a part of this church family. It reminds me a lot of my old church family in Blacksville, WV. The people are so gracious, kind, open minded, giving, and so sweet. They have taken us in like we have been there our whole lives. And not only do I get to spend every Sunday with a great group of people, I get to watch my husband teach. This is what he loves doing and call me biased, but he is amazing at what he does. I have learned more from him in the few years he has been preaching, than I have learned my whole life. 

3. Landon saying, "Mama" For The First Time

If you spend just a few minutes around our family, you will quickly realize that Landon is 100% a mama's boy. Not to say he doesn't love Tyler just as much as he loves me, but seriously, he wants to be around me every second of every day. And of course...I don't mind (with the exception of needing a break every now and then). His first word was, "Mama" and I'm sure people will say, "That's because its the easiest syllable for him to say." And that may be true, but he knew what the word, "Mama" meant the minute he started saying it. I could go on and on and on about how much I love Landon and the incredible bond the two of us have, but you can find that in just about every other post I have ever written. Landon is simply...incredible. 

2. Landon Turning One!

It is hard for me to believe I have a one year old. It is amazing what he has learned and the person he has developed into in just one year! I'm not one to brag, but he is darn smart! 

     He knows titles of books. For example, when he sees, Pete The Cat he says, "Pop" and when he sees, Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See? he says two words that sound like, "brown bear brown bear."

     He can do "more," "eat," and "all done" in sign language.

     He knows the meaning of the word, "hot."

     He actually listens and comprehends really well.

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you ;-)

1. Getting To Go Through Another Year With Tyler

Call it cliche, but it's the truth. This man is truly the best thing in my life. It has been a crazy year, from moving across the country, loosing our things to a moving company for two months, taking on a church, and raising a baby, but he has been the most encouraging and loving man. I can't express how thankful and blessed I am to have married him.

Happy Birthday, Baby!

I'll never forget the hours leading up to Landon's arrival.

Once we were in the delivery room and the nurse found the baby's heart beat, I then at least knew he was alive. We didn't know what to expect once he was born...what he would look like, if he would be deformed at all, or if HE actually was a he or a she.

We had an amazing nurse. She gave us the space we needed, but was there for support. I found great comfort in her and with her in the room, I felt safe. She was so kind, understanding, non judgmental, and even brought humor into the room, which was needed. She never left us when we needed her and she answered all of our questions honestly.
She bought Landon his blue striped blanket which he never goes a night without.

I'll never forget the phone calls I made to my parents.
My mom was at a Christmas party and I knew she was. As much as I didn't want to give her the news while she was at that party, I knew I didn't have much time, so I called her.
I told her I needed to talk to her and I asked if she was sitting down. As I told her what was going on, she said to me, "Oh honey, I don't know if I should be thrilled or really scared." And I said, "Probably both." She prayed with me over the phone and she was calm...exactly what I needed her to be.

I then called my dad who was luckily at home and not at work. My blood pressure got so high from nerves that the monitor went off.
I could hear the fear in his voice. He kept saying, "Are you sure you are okay...are you sure you are okay?" I think he asked me the same question about four times...but rightfully so.

We picked out two names. One for a girl and one for a boy.
And eventually the pushing process started.

I pushed for four hours.
Finally, at 6:47pm (pacific time), a beautiful, HEALTHY, perfect, baby boy was born!
6lbs. 13oz. and 20in. long.
There were multiple doctors in the room because they were prepared for the worst, but once he was born and evaluated, they delivered the news that he was miraculously perfect. The doctor even said, "I can't find a single thing wrong with him." This is the best news a new parent can receive.

After I nursed him for the first time, they took him to the nursery for the other tests he would have received while in the womb and Tyler and I were sent to a resting room where Landon would arrive early the next morning.

I ate a grilled cheese sandwich that night while Tyler made calls to our closest friends and family. We "rested" (yeah right) and waited to be reunited with Landon.

We were sent home two days later. 

Somedays, I still can't believe he is ours. He is OUR baby! 

Somedays, I look at him and wonder to myself...where did you come from?

I am so grateful that God chose and in trusted us to be his parents. 

We may not have known he existed, but we love him like we knew he was there the whole time.

Who Cares.

I am not defined by being the woman who didn't know she was pregnant. That does not make up my identity. I understand it is a big part of of my life and probably the biggest part of my story, but it doesn't define who I am as a person.

I am a woman who knows a lot about how the human body works. I studied it in college.
I am not oblivious to what is happening to my body. I take good care of myself and I am in tune with what I need to be healthy.

I am a woman who was blessed with a body that is able to carry a child for nine months. I grew a human and then pushed it out of my body, just like every other woman who has been pregnant.

My pregnancy may have looked differently than a "normal" one, but it was still a pregnancy and I still went through it.

And no,
I didn't feel him kick. And that sucks because when I thought of what it would be like to be pregnant, I couldn't wait to know what it felt like to have a tiny baby kick from the inside.
And no,
I didn't show. And that sucks too because I had plans of how I would track how big my belly got.
And no,
We didn't move to California so we could "hide the pregnancy." Why would we want to keep the joy of expecting a baby from our families.

Over the past year, I have been the subject at dinner parties, I have been questioned, and I have been doubted.

I understand people are interested and want to know details and I love talking about Landon's story because it is beautiful, but I can tell when people are skeptical and are waiting for a flaw in the story.

In a previous post, I said, "It has been a year of overcoming guilt and "what ifs" and that statement couldn't be any more true. I struggled and still struggle.
I have never felt more terrible than I did when I found out I was pregnant and delivering the same day. All I could think of, was "How did I miss this and what have I done."
I had dreamed of what it would be like to find out I was pregnant. I thought it would be exciting and joyful and happy, but instead I was scared to death and the first thing I said to Tyler was, "Nobody is going to believe me." and he said, "Who cares."

At the time, "Who cares" wasn't enough for me, but now, it is plenty.
It's plenty because I've learned that I don't have to prove myself and I don't have to convince anyone because the only thing that matters...is Landon.

Landon was born healthy and perfect, but people don't usually ask about him. They want to know every reason why I didn't know I was pregnant.

I've come to a place where I feel more grace than guilt.
And a place where I feel more blessed than cheated out of a "normal" pregnancy.
A year ago, I couldn't have said that.

I am where I am now because I look at Landon every day and he is so smart and so adorable and so full of love and energy, I realize that because of my lifestyle and because of God, he is here and thriving.
And nothing else matters.

It's a Date!

In case you didn't know, it doesn't snow in Pasadena. In fact, it doesn't get below mid fifties. Which is great any other time, except when its Christmas time. Whether or not we admit it, everyone likes a little snow around Christmas time. It helps makes the season a little more magical. 

So while we were in California, we really missed the familiar holiday feelings of OH and PA. 

December 9th, 2012 I had a special date planned for Tyler and I. We were going to go to a nice restaurant, and then come home to our apartment which would be decorated like a winter wonderland. I even made paper snowflakes to hang around the living room. 

However, our date didn't go as planned. 

I woke up that morning and my back was hurting. My muscles would tighten up for about five seconds,  and then they would relax. About ten minutes later, it would happen again. I had no idea what was causing this to happen, but I figured it was a result of our twenty mile bike ride the day before. 

It wasn't unbearable, so I went about my day pretty normally and got ready for our date. 

But by that evening, the pain was getting worse. Tyler and I decided it would be best if we stayed home and he willingly went and got Chipotle instead which is almost just as good as a the gourmet restaurant we planned on going to. 

While Tyler was out, I transformed our apartment into this:

We ate chipotle in our "snow covered" house, played a board game, danced to some music, played COD (yes, I enjoy playing Call of Duty with my husband), and enjoyed the cool air from our back porch.

Yes, that is fake snow.

It was a perfect night, minus the back pain that seemed to be getting increasingly worse. 

December 9th will always be a memorable day for us. 

Since I wasn't able to take Tyler on our planned date, we are going today. 

Today, and every December 9th, I am going to take Tyler on the date I never got to take him on. 

Tonight we are going out to dinner and then we are going for a nice wintery walk around the Toledo Zoo.

Just the two of us. 

The Famous Twenty Mile Bike Ride

A year ago today, Tyler and I went on a bike ride. A really, really long bike ride. Luckily, December is warm enough in Pasadena to take bike rides. I miss those days...

Anyways.

We went here: 

This is an outdoor shopping center.  Pasadena doesn't have a very good Christmas atmosphere, so we retreated here for the evening. 

They even make fake snow that occasionally blows around. It really is beautiful.

The distance form our Apartment to Glendale was about 8 miles (one way). It didn't take us too long to get there, because most of the the trip was downhill, which means the trip back was all up hill. This will forever be a cherished day for Tyler and I because it was the last date we had together before Landon was born.

We walked around the shops, saw little kids dressed to see Santa Clause, and we sat on the balcony of a book store that overlooked the beautiful Christmas tree and lights. We even splurged and bought a pretzel from the Wetzel Pretzel stand.  

After we biked there and back, we decided to bike around Pasadena to see the few houses that were decorated for Christmas. We biked a total of about twenty miles that night and it was blissful. 

The next morning, the contractions started...

Rough and Tough

I took Landon to the library for "Play Date" time a few days ago. He was one of the youngest ones there along with a little girl who was about seven months old. They played great together. She would hand Landon a block and he would throw it and they would both giggle. It was so fun watching him play with another child his age. He was truly engaging with her.

The other children were all about two years old. Some older and some a little younger. There were about twenty children total.
So as you can imagine, it was pretty chaotic.

Children screaming, some crying, and some just yelling because it is fun to be loud.

However, there was one child who was not behaving at all.
He was grabbing toys, hitting, and pushing other children.

At one point, I looked at his mother and she laughed and said to me, "Oh this is normal. Boys will be boys. They were made to be rough and tough...you will see."

Umm...false.

I understand little boys have a ton of energy and are more prone to want to play a little more rough, but that is no excuse for just being plain mean to other children. And I couldn't believe his mother was condoning his behavior by saying he was made to be "rough and tough."

Landon wasn't made to be rough and tough.

He was made to be kind, giving, and loving towards other people. No excuses.

Of course I want him to stand up for himself, but I don't want him to use violence to do so.

Landon is in a phase where he hugs everything.
He hugs his Wild Things characters and his other stuffed animals.
He recently kissed a scarecrow that was dressed as a pirate.

I like to think this is a reflection of what he sees through Tyler and I. He sees us hugging each other and we hug him every chance we get.

I pray he grows into a good, creative, problem solver. Not a little boy who resorts to violence to get what he wants.

I pray he respects and values other humans.

And I pray Tyler and I surround him with knowledge, explanation, and so much love that he doesn't know any differently.
Regardless of what he sees in the world around him.

P.S. If I could just keep him this tiny and sweet his whole life, I would do it.

Precious Moments

These are some of my favorite moments we have captured since Landon was born:

One of Landon's first days at home. 

This is one of the few times I wasn't holding him while he was asleep. 

I just couldn't resist holding him all the time!

Landon has always had a great laugh.

This was the first laugh we captured.

Every time Landon would be close to rolling over, we would grab the camera because we didn't want to miss it! And we didn't!

This was the very first time he rolled over.

Our neighbors probably thought we won the lottery. 

We took Landon to the beach rather often. 

This was the first time we let him feel the water.

He hated it because the water was freezing. 

Love this little laugh.

"Pete The Cat" has not always been his favorite...

(This is one of my favorite videos ever)

One of the best moments I have experienced was when Landon said, "Mama" for the first time.